The Ten Commandments of Islanders Kool Aid

By Danny Radical

For many people, this piece will not be funny. It will in fact be obnoxious and insulting. To whomever sees it that way, congratulations- you are #IslesKoolAid.

What is #IslesKoolAid you ask? Islanders Kool Aid are Islander fans whom watch hockey from a parallel universe. They grasp greatness from the jaws of mediocrity, grasp being the key word there. They think because they enjoy the games, the team is good. They think that because they enjoy the games, then everyone should enjoy the games. Some even think that their presence in the arena is more important than the outcome on the ice. They see reality as criticism.


They think that because they show up at ticket holders meet and greets and get shout outs from the management that they management likes them. Trust me, they don't. Oh, management likes that Kool Aid buys tickets, but if all of the kool aid season ticket holders died on the way to a game, the Isles would resell their tickets that same day, and not send flowers to the wake.

The most egregious example of #IslesKoolAid is the former 329 Army, who in order to preserve the indignity of being moved both numerically to a new section and physically to a new building speak about themselves with such reverence that you'd think they were the reasons that the Islanders have been to the playoffs three times in the past ten years. At one point they were fun kids cheering on a losing cause. Now, they wholly overestimate their importance to the team, and in the Barclays, are so far away from the game that no one notices them anymore anyway.


How can you tell if you are #IslesKoolAid? First off, you'll be offended by this.

After that, you'll think that Josh Bailey will finally score 20 goals this season. Then you think Garth Snow "won the Barzal trade" overlooking the Griffin Reinhart debacle from 2012 that set the team back 3 years on defense, at least. Snow also won the Josh Ho Sang trade, overlooking top 5 pick Michael Dal Colle from the same draft year setting the team $6 million of Eberle back.


Hey- they left all of the other Islanders off of this list!

And who cares that it took Snow 11 years to create the Triple Calder/Norris/Hart Trophy Threat of Ryan Pulock, Adam Pelech (who somehow secured a 4 year deal despite playing like hot garbage), and 24 year old 3 seasons on the Islanders and yet somehow Rookie Scott Mayfield.

And don't get kool aid started on 23 year old wunderkind Devon Toews!


Also, you will ignore the predictions of every publication regarding hockey that has the Islanders ranging anywhere from an 8th seed to losing the draft lottery and instead foretell the most perfect #IslesKoolAid season of all- a second round appearance.


Successful business leaders read James C. Collins' "Good to Great." Isles Kool Aid reads "Bad is Mediocre."
Now, without further ado...

The Ten Commandments of #IslesKoolAid

1) There shall be NO General Managers before Garth. Or after. Sayonara, winning!

2) ALWAYS assume it is the other GM when Garth can't seem to make an impact trade.

3) Thou shall glorify Snow for waiver moves and overpaying his own free agents to overlook the fact that there is never a solution based on the draft or in the system, even though every prospect is a Calder candidate.


4) Thou shall demand no accountability.

5) Do not covert other players. They ain't coming here.

6) When someone presents you with facts, thou shall scream "Go Be-ith A Rangers Fan-ith"

7) You shall bear false witness if you can cherry pick a fact that defies all other aspects of a players game (the Bailey commandment).


I bet I know which one is tougher.

8) Thou shall honor no Stanley Cups before a 100 point season.


9) You shall not covet successful teams and their methods; only compare Garth to those teams who are worse.

10) On the 7th game, rest.


We don't need this! We have chants!

Understand that this is the opinion of one fan from the group called Islanders Realists. Realists are fans who love their team and want to see them do better. Many realists are old enough to remember when the Islanders were winners, from the David Volek Pittsburgh crushing goal to the unsurpassed in all of sports 19 consecutive playoff series wins. not LeBron, not Jordan, not Magic, not Jeter, not Ruth...but Bossy, Smith, Trottier, Potvin, Gillies, Nystrom, Tonelli, Morrow, and a group of guys who made Nassau County the Montreal of the United States. But hey, what do we know- we don't have a Josh Bailey song. We don't even have "The Chicken Dance" anymore.


Once we get here...chicken dance every night!

Folks, let me know what you think. Do you drink the #IslesKoolAid? Are you a realist? What are your predictions for the Islanders season this year? Feel free to comment and let your voice be heard! Even if you're Kool Aid, although we already know what you're going to say.

Follow Danny Radical on Twitter @JoshBarely and @Sportsonthego1